Horrible

I seriously don't like it when someone make a decision for me. I'm already 20 and know how to make my own decision. To be honest, sometimes I really want to just end my life. I feel so pressurize that I am always crying each night, and even have suicided thoughts. The feeling is so sucks!! Feel as though I'm suffering from depression, really.

Bb is 40weeks 3days. Some are worried, keep on asking me to induce. I understand that they care but I know what I'm doing. Bb is still very active, kicking and moving around more then usual. And its not as if I'm keeping her inside me forever. No doubt, my EDD was three days ago. But, its ESTIMATED which means it not an accurate date given.

On the other hand, its been like almost three weeks since we break up. Honestly speaking, this three weeks is horrible with all the cryings and horrible feeling. Whenever he came to my mind, I'll start crying. Each night, I can't sleep. I'll always look through our pictures and text messages we send to each other, thinking about how happy I was with him back then. Recalling how sweet he was to me, tolerating my nonsense and even my temper. I remember him asking me "are you sure you can live with me", today I realise I can't live without him. Without him, I am so lost. Before I met him, I don't believe in love at first sight. I used to think its rubbish. Till the day I first met him, I finally know what's love at first sight.